So "New Year" was a bit of a let down, as to be expected. Mum has tried really hard to make Christmas and New Year special but I just haven't really had the energy to go with it, although I tried really hard (I can be a good actress when I need to be). I guess it was kind of OK, but to be honest, I was ready for bed at about 10pm. It seems an awful lot of fuss for.......what? I don't know.
My stuff finally arrived from Switzerland, out of the blue. It has been in customs for 2 weeks and they kept asking me to fill in form after form after form. Each time they phoned me it was yet another form to fill in. So it's here. So that's that then. I no longer live there (although my cat still does as my ex has custody of him).
I still feel like I don't belong. I don't feel I live here. I don't feel this is home. I don't really engage with people and am not ready to make new friends which is exactly what I need to do. I have lived in this city for precisely 4 and a half months and still only know mum, her pub friends, my sister and people at work. I only really socialise with my sister (which isn't often because she works so much) and know the people who work for her, but they are not really friend friends if that makes sense. I seem to be stuck in loneliness caused by my lack of enthusiasm for anything other than sleeping and reading.
I am functioning though. I am very weary and going back to work has knocked me out plus I haven't been sleeping well again. In fact, this weekend I plan to sleep as much as possible. I started a diet on the 2nd January and have stuck to it pretty well. I am going to let another couple of days pass to get settled into the idea and then start increasing the exercise.
So that's my boring little life right now. I think I may still be a little hypomanic right now but am hoping that if I rest that I can get it under control.
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