Saturday 3 November 2012

Kicked out of the system

Since my last couple of posts I have been awaiting a reply from my CPN and York Psychiatric Services (under Leeds&York Partnership NHS Foundation Trust). It has been implied that I am not a priority and will be discharged from their services following a phone call I had a week ago from my CPN despite me explaining that if I did not receive ongoing care then I would rapidly become a priority - what happened to relapse prevention?
I am still waiting for a letter with details of who to approach when I need support which will probably be phone lines.  I live at my mothers.  How am I supposed to have a phone call with anyone, even if it is on my mobile in my room, without her hearing?
It finally hit me today and I feel very sad and isolated.  Maybe it is because I am nervous at starting my new job on Monday, maybe because I haven't been out to make new friends. Maybe it's the feeling of being brushed aside.  I don't know.
I received a letter from the occupational health services of the place I am going to work and have to meet with them to "discuss" what I put in my questionnaire.  I really don't want to discuss this at all, but have to for the sake of my job.  I want to be left alone to get on with work and not have their pressure over me that my mental health may become an issue. The york mental health services seem to think that as my employer offers a staff crisis programme that I should use this instead.  I mean, no way! My job is temporary for a couple of months - if I start some kind of care funded by them, what happens when my contract is not extended?  I will have to start all over again, AGAIN!
Meh.