New year blues

So, I am back at work, I am one year older and regretting coming back to the UK.  Mostly because I feel I am missing out by not being in Switzerland.  I miss the skiing, hell I miss ski school. Everyone says, "Oh you'll be fine", "it will be good for you living at your mum's" but you know what - it SUCKS.  I have no friends, just colleagues at work and we are not close enough that we socialise. None of them do.  I don't meet anyone because I don't go out.  Mainly my own fault because I have nowhere to go. Anything I want to do involves doing something myself e.g. going to the library, cinema.  I know the people my sister works with, but not very closely.  Everyone is an "acquaintance" and the only option they are interested in is drinking. Which I am avoiding.  I am so lonely. and I don't know how to help myself.  I don't think anyone at group wants to meet up at other times and I can only do evenings anyway, when I am knackered from work.
I have asked my GP for a private referral to the outpatient private clinic as I am at the end of my tether and the mental health services here aren't interested, so I am going to have to pay privately. Ironic really, couldn't afford private treatment in Switzerland anymore and now I have to fund myself in the UK.
I know since the beginning of December my mood has been peaking and troughing, but it is nudging lower.  The feelings of self harm are coming back.
I wish I was back in Switzerland, I might not have been popular, but at least I felt part of something, instead of drifting like I am now.  I wish I was back in Cornwall where I truly felt at home. Right now, I can't see much in the way of positive things, even though I have a roof over my head and am earning.  It's hard to explain to those of you who might be thinking I am wallowing in self indulgance.  It's not like that.  It's hard when you get to the point where you cannot connect with anything and when I don't connect then there is space in my head for the negativity which is always there, underlying like a thin line, to come flooding in and it is harder to fight.
I know when I am on the way down when all I want to do is sleep as an escape.  Saturday (my birthday) I slept all day.  Last night I was lights out at 7.30pm, went straight to sleep and when my alarm went off at 7 a.m. I wanted to roll over and hide.